Monday, November 03, 2008

Turning 30

3rd November 2008, Monday

Yes I had reached the landmark of the big 3-O today... After time and again taunting others of joining the club which didn't reflect well chronologically, it's a path everyone must take...

Age-wise I am surely 30...body-wise I might be mid 40s now, but mentally and psychologically I might still be stranded in somewhere between my teens.

There were tales from far and beyond, from various era that by 30, many men (and women) had accomplished so much (then again everyone died at the age of 40 back in the dark ages).
My biggest accomplishment beside settling down at an age might be considered tender for our generation, would be winning the World Cup with unfancied Singapore on my Football Manager game...pretty pathetic but didn't you notice that "pathetic" is my middle name...

Being so self-contend, yet not a wee bit interested to upgrade myself for employment-worthy (blasphemous by our government and WDA standard), I'm just grateful to be employed with a job which allow don't cramp my style, bestowing me enough liberty to keep myself sane and no obligation to fret over work spilled over after office hours.

Living under one roof with my lovely wife and my beloved family, I am just glad I had no worries of lacking food served during meal time or a clean shirt to wear to work.
We might not be living with luxury but we aren't at all impoverished. Being middle-class in Singapore might not allow you to do much but it is still good enough to get through the days as long as we stayed modest and not being lavish.

I may not be the most popular and sociable animal around but 'm glad to have enough friends to keep me company though I loved to live away from the limelight...get away from the crowd since I have acute claustrophobia and stringently burrowed in my own domain, doing the things I enjoyed like you average "confine-in guy".
Like my peers, we always have minute (even immatured) things to keep us to our toes with anticipation... Perhaps a new movie..an upcoming TV series or a forthcoming great video game... Or we would just relishing with our past as we immersed ourselves in nostalgia which is something I truly held dearly to my heart.

My marriage with the girl who tolerate my nonsense for like 8 years now didn't take away any of what I love...She is gracious enough to embrace it despite at times I felt I had even gone too overboard.
She knew I wasn't in the mold of the doting husband who devote his life to treat her as a princess... love everything she loves, get on with her family and friends, and never raise her voice in the public and conform to her needs...yet she is willing to bear with it all.
Though I do feel remorseful (not that I ill-treat her abit perhaps mentally at times); I knew I just can't change and unwilling to make a change.
And yes...babies...she is now in that biological stage to yearn to be a mother but I can't share the same sentiments... wonder what would propel me into conceding myself into fatherhood

I love to keep things status quo and very resistant to change...I know in the world of survival of the fittest, I would surely be the first to be eliminated but sadly I just lack the will to avoid that fate.

At this juncture, though frustrated at the situation at times, I am glad things were the way it is, and even hope it would stay the same for years to come.
As they said health is the essence of wealth...I tried to keep myself healthy both physically and mentally.
I sweat it out on regularly basis to build on the immune system...I tired to adhere to my missus' advice to take my regular minerals and vitamins especially when my diet is so void of vegetables... Although sleep is quiessential for our bodily function, I felt it seems to waste my precious time away...surely should catch more forty winks when I can.
Of course I felt regular laughing is my zen to life itself...though I wonder if contorting my face in those fit of laughters had aggravated to those awful wrinkles and scars.

I would say I'm frugal but I am willing to spend on things I felt fit to spend on though might live to regret eventually.
I want to keep as much liquidity in my bank but in this times, nothing is certain... I'm not in the zone where I can retire early neither do I have enough to spend if I truly retired by 65...The missus is trying to tweak that; though I am by no mean supportive to her most of the time, I sincerely hope she will succeed in what she does.
I always shun away from talks of big investments like apartments, cars and yes babies...but seems like its all she talks about these days...sigh
For me I rather save that bit of extra savings we had to embark on a yearly tour to wherever we please...get away from the hustle and bustle of our lives...

Drawing conclusion to the end of this lengthy epiphany... 30 is just a numerical figure to warrant me certain privileges as well as the constant interrogation from relatives come get-togethers... otherwise it should be the same to me as of the same 10 years before, in terms on how I want to spend it.
I am by no mean those guys, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly in "Stepbrothers" which I caught yesterday; but deep inside I kind of relate to this type of people... Scorn and scoff at them as you like, you never had enjoyed life itself as they do..
I enjoy life...I look forward to every single day...and hope by the next epiphany at 40...I will still say the same...

Japanese word of the day: 三十 ~san-jyuu~(30) I wouldn't go to my garage to do karate when I want to...man..I dun even have a garage!



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