Sunday, April 10, 2005

The OC Part 1

No Not the Fox TV teen-flesh sleazy series, my OC stands for "Obnoxious Colleague"....
As you guys must have seen from a few posts before, I had a personal agenda against my co-worker..
Well to make it clear black and white, I don't actually hate him... it's a very strong word...
Despise him not exactly either... neither is abhor, demean, execrate or disdain...
More of a mixture of loathe, disapprove, disfavour with a tinge of scoff, scorn and shun...
I'm more of disapprove of some of the gimmicks he pulled over the days I worked with him (which usually work well for him but not usually good for others, especially the 3 ladies musketeers of our lab)
Sometime some of the stunts he pulled can surely send you amuck, and coil up in anguish...perhaps lead to more detrimental side effects to your bodily, psychological and phisiological functioning...

Before I go ballistic with my frenzy vociferation, I have a disclaimers to add:

JxM D, a nick we gave to this particular colleague, is actually a down-to-earth and stoic chap.
He always gives 101% to his tasks without a second remification and no qualms either.
Always approachable by other fellow colleagues from different lab, race, religion, nationaility or sect of irritating people, he is held at a high position by the scientific community near and far.
(Of course they did not have the first hand experience of working side by side with him)
I actually salute his professionalism and always felt I could never match him in many aspects of work and life itself...
So here you have it, before things get really ugly, I actually pointed out he's a much better person than yours truly...

So some of you might say I did this string of posts as an act of envy, jealousy and spite... If you thnk so, I would not rebut or rebuke; but within me I would never ever want to step into his shoes... ever....

Well hey come to think of I just post all these just for entertainment purposes, he sure is one fascinating person at times...

Now I'll begin with his personal profile:

Male, early thirties, qualification: Biotechnology diploma with a degree in business IT (or whatever shit-ass name they gave it)
Married with a fellow lab biologist met in our workplace who gradually moved on to greener pastures (of course her track record of single-handedly closing down 3 laboratories she had worked for doesn't helps her cause)
Started to work in our institute at age of 23(?) after his 2 and a half year stint in in the arm forces...
I believe he has always worked in our servicing lab ever since and became a cornerstone to the lab and favorite right-hand man to our supervisor/principle investigator...

At Work
  1. Sprouting out brand new uncoventional ideas for better the functioning of our work process.
  2. Vehemently attending to the requests of every mother-sons/daughters in our workplace with undisputed zeal.
  3. Made a mess of stuffs and rearrange back from scratch, or just rearranging stuffs.
  4. Doing unnecessary security administration of our local computer network (which includes uninstalling colleague's personal softwares, downloading administrative softwares aplenty that result in slowing down systems and creating excessive backups to every single file from the beginning of time).
  5. Looking for new materials to acquire for the good cause of our work, so that he could flirt with the respective sales personel (both male and female).
  6. Adamant to his own methodology and agenda (and his huge ego), and compel others to follow suit, and resistant to changes and advice.
  7. Because of point 6, tends to cause probable damages to machineries and equipments (and at times running away from the scene of his own crimes).
  8. Recruiting new targets into his reputable agglomeration of "mistresses" after his martial status has converted to "married". Before that was just "targets for gutless behind-the-scene adoration".
  9. Because of point 7, bring about bad and unfortunate news to colleagues one time too many. Also love to highlight the error commited by others.
  10. Leaving little irritating notes or mass mailing plenty of emails, when he could just pass his messages verbally.
  11. Reluctance in doing trivial, diminutive and insignificant chores like filling pipetting tips (excuse: fate fingers) etc...Since maids like Maria, Sophia and Cecilia are always on the stand by to serve his every needs.
  12. Surfing Porno when no one is around while masturbating at colleague's personal photographs of their spouse/loved ones. (still a myth yet to be corroborated so don't take too much into it)
Off Work
  1. Thinking of new methodology and ideas for work purposes
  2. Upgrading his personal computers and hunting for the best hardwares and softwares, perhaps for his own pornographic and gaming requirements.
  3. Waiting for his reservists/IPPT/ or any thing associated with assuming his role in national security, as he is one of those who simply love his male bonding/ torturing sessions only the arm forces can provide without breaking a sweat.
  4. Committing his spouse into some unorthodox sexual impalement to satisfy his own fetish and propensity, and resulting in some unpleasant repercussion (slipped disc, broken pipes etc.) (still a myth yet to be corroborated so don't take too much into it)
  5. Purchasing bootleg entertainment materials (PC games, album CD, movie VCD/DVD) even when the original materials are cheaper than the bootlegs one.
  6. More to add on.... .... ....
Personal traits and features...
Have a wardrobe filled with garments that require very little ironing. Also have the tedency of buying pants and wearing them immediately without a prior wash (the sticker that indicates the measurement still adhere on the trousers).
Perhaps have a dream of taking over his parents' chicken rice stall
(still a myth yet to be corroborated so don't take too much into it)
Spotless and pore-less porcelain skin which might have a zit infection once awhile (very obvious to his clear and fair complexion).
One symbollic feature is the heavy and darkened eyebag sure is apparent on his face..


Despite standing at a 1.75 m frame, tends to hunch and love to slide his way , a bit like tip-toe hastily with the background jingle from "The Muppet Show"...


Not too sure about his personal hygiene but rumors was spread that he had a history of rushing to work and neglect the fact that he requires to have an early shower.
He also has a tendency of not drinking water or down a freshener mint, thus you have to pray you are not the first to chat with him first thing in the morning or after a sumptous lunch like once I got burpped into my face with the smell of Chinese traditional "Lou Bak" (Century Sauced Meat). Nearly black-out then and there!

His hair style is in pristine black and rarely long enough to go beyong 1/4 of his forehead before he paid a due trip to his favorite Malay barbershop.
He once did caught on the crew-cut stylo-milo "Armani" hairstyle back in the mid 1990s. However to make it a fashionable signature you are much needed to invest on a bottle of hair gel to maintain the look (think the Roxette's song).
Perhaps hair gel is off his budget or he just too lazy to do the gel-ling, little did he realised he would look awful without gel.

He once told me he had a preferance of buying more than a pair of shoes (athletic or formal) which he might fancy on, aka stocking up; in case he could not find another more suitable one. Then again, looking at his footwears, I would really like to scoff on his taste at times....

I have heard on a particular incident that someone once spotted him rushing into the Gents with mucous leaving a visible sticky trail on his cheeks...*gasp*

I could imagine he is one which could use a single bar of soap for all purpose... hair, body, nether parts, and face...

Well behind all these, he is still very popular with the female population which is mystery on its own...

I would conclude this column with his frugal personality... it seems like he did not have much indulgences as in most of us (perhaps only computer stuffs, bootleg stuffs and pornographic supplies)... Beside his honeymoon at New Zealand and a Penang trip, never heard him going anymore excursions with his wife...
However the wedding and his new love-nest are sapping his income. But I'm doubtless he has a pretty fat bank accounts....
well living his routined, stoic and systematic life, I believe he is saving up for his kids for sure

He is sure a charmer of a son-in-law all mothers would love their daughters to marry!!
Japanese word of the day: 理想 ~risou~ (Ideal) JxM D is sure an ideal man for many, NOT!


  • Hello Kei, been looking for the latest info on bad skin and found The OC Part 1. Though not exactly what I was searching for, it did get my attention. Interesting post, thanks for a great read.

    By Anonymous b5, at 3:10 AM  

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