Blame Myself

18th August 2006, Friday

Drawing towards the end of the work week and it's a pay day...I will be having a great time with my wife for the next couple of days..I should be over the moon..
yet it was not really meant to be..

Mom went on some "Northern Expedition" with my aunties, supposedly somewhere in Ipoh most probably on religious-themed since last evening...
You do know how disruptive life can be when she is not around.... Dad would have to contemplate to drive everyone up to work...
There would be no packed lunch and no dinner for this day as well..

I had planned on eating out for dinner with my lass only to be dejected by the fact that she would need to stay a while back after work (as always) to impart some knowledge of the new equipment to the operators on night shift.... meaning she would probably be home only around supper time...

On my way to work, I realized that I had missed out on a step during my experiment yesterday which could be detrimental to the overall result and I was solemnly praying for the best as I prep the samples for scanning this morning as my Dutch apprentice, Fieke who had been understudying (more like observing) me for the entire week too was hoping my efforts do not go to waste...

After running the 2 plates in the morning, the moment of truth was out not before my progress was hindered once too many times by some instrumentation and computational problems...
The results as Beauty has predicted to be too weak but barely acceptable...
It's not really about repeating the step one more time but I had been expecting to square up this particular project at least the 1st stage before my French supervisor returns on Monday so as to show her the diligent and capable side of me which now of course becomes inefficable; instead show that I am that error-prone worker once more...
Call me paranoid but appraisal is round the corner and I surely wanna impress the bosses after around 2 months here...

In the end just had to put that full blame on my partial state of dementia for forgetting that step barely minutes when I was fixating on the timer to correct the temperature...

On the wedding banquet planning side, I must say the list is almost done except some people who told me that they would get back to me apparently suffering from dementia as well or most probably blatant oblivious to my request
Tomorrow will be meeting the restaurant to tie up some final details and hope things go rosy as we enter the last 57 days before my bi day...

Japanese word of the day: 責任 (Blame) I wish I can blame on someone else for my incompetance but than in those prehistoric days with JxMMy around, I always get the blame from him... so perhaps I am used to it