Monday, June 29, 2009

Michael Bay oughta be Shot (by his own explosives)

29th June 2009, Monday

Before we begin, would like to show my appreciation for YH to treat everyone to watch "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" after she had successfully sold the car she won from the lucky draw for shopping at Suntec City which was by coincidence the venue we caught the film. It was down to pure generosity and the joy of sharing from her but sadly the flow of a pretty lousy film spoiled the night for me....

The association with Michael Bay's explosive, adrenaline filled action films began with "Bad Boys" which I caught on a video tape at TW's place.

My first theatrical experience of his film was "Armageddon". It was the apex of all disaster films of that era and really put "Deep Impact" into smithereens in terms of box office taking.
I remembered I thoroughly enjoyed the film and was at the verge of crying when the surviving Freedom crew made their truimphant return to earth after really did blew the meteorite into smithereens and Chick (Will Patton) were embraced by the son he had never saw till now.
Of course the movie went sour when Channel 5 showed it like 4000 million of times together other Michael Bay features like "The Rock" and the "Bad Boys" series.
It was also we can see that Bruce Willis couldn't act for nuts and Liv Tyler just always pout her thick lips to earn her bucks like she would as Arwen in LOTR.
Not forgeting "I don't wanna miss a thing" had been banned from my iPid playlist as "My Heart will goes on" and "Heaven's Knows".

"Pearl Harbour" was one of the first few date movies with my wife back in those days. I did had a thing for war epics and in an age where the more explosives the better without the need of any storyline to back it up.
The movie was terribly long and for the first time in my life I had to leave in the middle of the show to pay a visit to the Gents.
It was not totally awful especially Cuba Gooding Jr had a reasonably good performance and for once viewers got to see how hot Kate Beckinsale is.

Then came the much hyped collaboration with Steven Spielberg and his Dreamworks production for a 1980s cartoon which got many fanboys wet their pants and cried till no tomorrow when Optimus Prime, dying from the clash with Megatron and passed the Matrix of Leadership to Ultra Magnus in "Transformers: The Movie".
Expectations were heightened as the movie drew closer before premiering in 2007.but when news leaked out that the design of Optimus Prime had a mouthpiece, many fanboys just went crazy.

Personally I was not a big Transformer fans and readily accepted the irradical ideas Bay and his crew had for their live action version of the Robots in Disguise.
But what I couldn't stand was the fact that he put so much focus on the US army and all the scenes showcasing the army weaponry prowess.
In the end the pace of the story worked out fine with Shia LeBeouf's performance's adequate, Megan Fox sizzled up the screen, Bumblebee delighting many fans with his interlude of radio broadcasts as speech and of course Jon Voight was in it. The movie was watchable and had it's entertainment value.

With a smashing box office return, it was of no wonder that the money milking Bay, Spielberg and co. began the production of the sequel almost instantaneously.

The bastard child from the rush job and a result of the ultimate milking scheme came this sequel which everything bad about a Michael Bay's film was brought to live.

It was action pack almost from the beginning to the end and explosives and other techno effects all set to blow the audience's minds away... I don't mean to sound indifferent or pompous but I think I had outgrew that, so that already didn't appeal to me.
There was a greater number of Autobots and Decepticons including the Fallen and Jetfire which will really beef up their toyline to suck collectors' blood.
While the concept of Soundwave as a satellite was cool, Devastator looked totally awful.

Megan Fox pouted and juggled her bosoms twice as much to make up for her lack of acting ability while Shia was getting on my nerve and they even introduce a secondary irritatable characterin Leo Spitz (Ramon Rodriguez).

There was a serious overdosage of the American military shit this time and for me the point of US soldier engaging in battle with Decepticons always will burn my brain cells.
Not forgetting the over dramatic scenes Michael Bay love to incorporate with all the slow motion and dramatic chase or over the hill conversation between Sam and his father at the near end.
Not forgetting Bay's depiction of Shanghai and Egypt is laughable...One major issue would be when a local police helicopter landed, you could see the Chinese characters for "Police" but it was in Traditional Chinese but in China, they used Simplified Chinese...Go do your home work, Bay!

The build up to the climax was actually decent like a wild ride of sort and John Turturro reprising the Reggie Simmons role was entertaining but with a limit. Of course Rainn Wilson as the college professor is a point of salvage (with any cast of The Office is good by me).
The latter half hour was a torture for me as you can see it was heading into the direction of Michael Bay's ultimate wet dream coming through...
Even the final scene with Sam and Optimus standing at the bow of a aircraft carrier

I sensed a second sequel once Megatron and Starscream survived and escaped and was verified that it was due for July 4th, 2012...


I was slurring words of discontentment in the theater near the end to the dismay of my missus who supposedly enjoyed it more than myself.
It seems like I won't be catching anymore Michael Bay's film any sooner, not after I finished going through the "Bad Boys-The Rock-Armageddon-Pearl Harbour-Bad Boys 2-The Island-Transformer" marathorn...woo the humanity!



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